


Let Me Die

by CyberWolf838



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Ace!Nines, Angst, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Caffeine Abuse, Connor and Nines are brothers cuz I say so, Established Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gavin being a dick, Gavin is depressed, Hank being a good dad, Hurt/Comfort, Kamski and Reed are siblings, M/M, Nightmares, Over Working, Panic Attacks, RK-900 is named Nines (kind of), RK-900 needs a hug, Self-Harm, Starvation, Suicide Attempt, Touch Starved Gavin Reed, fuck it, gavin curses a lot, send love to the coffee pot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberWolf838/pseuds/CyberWolf838
Summary: When Nines is forced into an emergency temporary shut down at Gavin’s hand, Gavin can’t take it. The stairs he gets at work, the hate radiating off of Hank, Connor being a depressed sack of bolts, and the returning nightmares and panic attacks.Or-Nines falls into a coma and Gavin is stuck in a self-loathing pit of hate and self destruction.
Relationships: Tina Chen/ OC, Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Comments: 12
Kudos: 168





	1. I’m so sorry (That I let you down)

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that this work will touch on heavy subjects. This will mostly happen in chapters 2 and 3, but the first chapter is not different. Just please know this before you read!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t read this story if you’re sensitive to triggering subjects. These are, but aren’t limited to:  
> Mentions of self-harm   
> Mentions of suicide   
> Mentions of starvation  
> Mentions of sleep deprivation   
> Suicide   
> Self-harm 
> 
> If any of these things trigger you, please don’t read. This isn’t the story for you.

“Gavin?” Nines asked, knocking softly on the door, “are you alright?” 

Another crash was heard on the other side of the bathroom door making the LED on the side of the androids head spin yellow. He tried the door finding it locked, the circle slowly starting to spin red.

“Gavin?” Nines’ voice spoke louder. Silence followed in deafening waves. “Gavin!” Nines demanded. His LED pulsed crimson as his stress levels spiked. 

He ran through all the possible outcomes to him ether choosing to barge through the door or to stay put, the latter weighed heavily on him. He gave one shove into the door, sending it wide open. 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Gavin yelled, springing to his feet as he pulled his sleeves past his hands, “it was locked for a goddamn fucking reason!” 

Nines looked down, “I’m sorry, I was worried,” he stated, before meeting the shorter males brown eyes.

Gavin rolled his eyes with a scoff, “tell that to my fucking bathroom door, you plastic prick!” He spat harshly, his jaw clenching and unclenching. 

Nines scrunched his eyebrows together, “Gavin, what’s wrong?” He asked softly, tilting his head slightly to the left. 

“You fucking broke my door in! That’s what’s wrong!” He yelled gesturing a hand at the busted door frame, “can’t I just get five fucking minutes alone in the Goddamn bathroom? How do you know what I’m doing? Huh?! I could’ve been fucking jerking off! God knows that’s the only thing I fucking get in that department!” 

Nines stared at the floor trying to find words. Here he was, the most advanced android to date, struggling to find words. How pathetic!

“I was- I just thought-“ 

“Just thought what? That you could just barrel through the door!” Gavin yelled, shaking his head as he went to shove past Nines. 

A patch of red on Gavin’s white sleeve caught Nines’s eye. He grabbed onto Gavin’s arm. Eyes locked on the splash of crimson. LED circling yellow.

Gavin whipped his head around, fighting in Nines’s grasp, “What the fuck?! Get off me!” 

Nines looked down at his partner with sad eyes, “why Gavin? For how long?” 

“Shit,” Gavin hissed, ripping his arm away from Nines’s hold. He turned once again, walking away to his bedroom muttering to himself.

“Gavin wait!” Nines called, following him, “I’m sorry, I just got worried and-“ 

“You got worried?” Gavin asked, venom lacing his words as he started to laugh, “you’re telling me you felt worried about me? You’re a fucking Android! A machine! You don’t feel things, you just simulate emotions! You are just a plastic toy that’s meant to be told what to do!” 

“Gavin please-“ 

“You’re not human!” He yelled stepping closer to Nines, “you can’t feel things like humans! You don’t feel pain, you don’t get sad, you don’t get anxious, and you don’t feel love! Hell! You can’t even figure out that sex isn’t bad! Most advanced android, my fucking ass!” 

“Yes I do, I can feel things. I know what love feels like.” Nines stated, refusing to meet Gavin’s eye.

Gavin felt a pain in his chest as he looked at Nines. He didn’t mean anything he was saying, he was just trying to push the Android away. It is what he was best at, after all. So he didn’t stop. 

“Oh really?! Ain’t that fucking neat!” He laughed, “let me ask you something RK-900-“ 

“Gavin please don’t.” 

“What? Is that not your name? Then tell me, what is your name?” He demanded, shoving Nines back a few feet. 

The androids’ crimson LED spun faster as his stress levels rose even higher. Nines was silent, eyes focused on the carpet below his feet. 

“RK-900 register your name-“ 

“No no no no!” Nines yelled stumbling back, “Gavin! Why? I’m sorry!” Warnings flashed in his line of sight. 

Stress level: 89% ////////  
Warning: Stress levels too high  
•••Contact CyberLife for repairs?•••  
[Y/N]  
[N]

“RK-900 register your name!” Gavin yelled 

Stress level: 99% ////////  
Warning: Stress levels critical 

Error: Therium pump malfunction  
•••Contact CyberLife for repairs?•••  
[Y/N]  
[N] 

Warning: Optical sensors, vocal modulator, and hearing units shutting down

•••Contact CyberLife for repairs?•••  
[Y/N]  
[N]

“NO!” Nines screamed, voice corrupted by static, harshly pulling on his hair, ripping hair from his scalp, “no no no no no no!” He continued to stumble into things before his back hit a wall, sending him spiraling into darkness. 

Stress Level: 100% //////////  
Warning: stress levels critical 

Error: Main operating system malfunction  
•••Contacting CyberLife for repairs•••

[Entering emergency stasis mode] 

“Nines?” Gavin asked walking over to where the Android fell like a sack of potatoes to the floor. He lightly kicked him in the side with his foot, “meat sack to tin- holy fucking shit!” 

Therium started running out of Nines’s nose, ears, eyes, and mouth, making Gavin run in search of his phone. Once he found it, he clicked into the first contact he saw as he ran back over to Nines. 

“What the fuck are you calling me for Reed? Don’t ya-“ 

“Hank! Get the fuck over here now!” Gavin yelled into the phone, “now! Please!” 

“Shit, ok! I’m heading over!” 

Gavin ended the call and pulled Nines into his lap. “I’m so sorry! I- fuck this is all my fault!” Gavin sobbed, looking down at his wrist, “I never meant it! Any of it! I’m so fucking sorry! Goddammit, that doesn’t fucking change anything!” 

“Reed?” Hank called, the front door being kicked down. 

Gavin sobbed, his breathing picking up as he tried to yell out, “Ha-Hank!”


	2. Tell me that you love me, even if it’s fake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Nines falls into a temporary shut down due to stress, Gavin starts to spiral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Connor is an ass in this and I’m living for rn...

Gavin sobbed, his breathing picking up as he tried to yell out, “Ha-Hank!” 

Hank ran into the room, scanning the room with his gun in hand before his eyes landed on Gavin and Nines. “What the hell happened?! Connor call 911 or something! And get your ass in here!” 

By the time Gavin had looked up, the older man was already kneeling down next to them. Connor ran in moments later, eyes widening and LED circling red as his eyes landed on Nines. 

“Wh-why where Nines’ stress levels so high?” Connor muttered after scanning his brother's unmoving body, “what caused him to self destruct?” 

Before an answer could be said, EMT’s rushed in, pulling Gavin off of Nines. He stood in horror as he watched the Android be carted off, all because of him. 

Gavin flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Gavin, what happened to Nines?” Hank asked softly, confused by Gavin’s tear-stained face. 

Gavin sputtered out a response, “I didn’t mean to… he- the door- we were fighting- I… oh god this is all my fault! I did this… oh god, I caused this!” 

Connor glared over at Gavin, “you did this?” 

“Connor-“ Hank tried, failing at stalling Connor's advancements towards the trembling man. 

“YOU caused this?! He trusted you!” A loud smack could be heard as Gavin fell to the ground, Connor successfully connecting his fist to the man’s jaw. 

“Connor!” Hank yelled, shoving the Android away.

Connor growled almost, LED circling solid red as his eyes never left the sobbing man in a heap on the floor, “he made Nines self destruct Hank! Don’t tell me he doesn’t deserve it!” 

Hank sighed, “I’m not saying any of that, I just don’t want you to get aggravated assault on your squeaky clean record. And your light thing is red, never seen that one before from you. Ya big cinnamon roll.” He muttered, pushing him towards the door. 

The Android reluctantly walked out of the apartment after straightening his tie and jacket. Hank turned back to Gavin before he left. 

“Try not to be late tomorrow Reed, you still have the paperwork to fill out for the Beverly case,” Hank said with a huff before walking out, leaving Gavin there. His mind running wild as sobs overtook his body. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed like that. Sobbing on his dingy bedroom carpet, that is. So by the time he stumbled out to the living room, he wasn’t all surprised that he had a giant purple and blue bruise on the side of his face. 

Sighing, he grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, (Nines insisted he buy some because apparently “freezer burned peas and carrots aren’t a proper ice pack” and they were “practically a science experiment”) pressing it to his face as he checked the time. 

“Damn,” he mumbled, seeing it was close to 4 am. “May as well shower so I don’t look like I crawled out from the depths of hell.” 

Once dressed after getting out of the shower, Gavin had concluded three things:

.1. Crying on the floor for about 4-5 hours straight did nothing for his knees, back, and eyes (or his mental state at all really) 

2\. He was going to jog before work today because fuck it! He had enough time 

3\. He still looked like he crawled up from hell. And breakfast was overrated (fuck it, that’s four things) 

After completing a full lap around the park, Gavin called it a morning and called a cab to take him back home. After deciding on taking the elevator as opposed to the three flights of stairs, Gavin trudged into his and Nines’ apartment. 

Could he even call it their apartment anymore? I mean come on! Making someone self-destruct technically could be considered a breakup. Right? That is if Nines ever wakes up… 

Gavin shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts from his head as he grabbed his badge and gun from the safe in his closet. On his way out of the building, everyone it felt like was staring at Gavin, almost as if they knew what he did…

“What the hell happened to you?” Some dude asked with a scoff as he walked by, “some fight, ‘eh?” 

Oh right, the giant bruise on his face. He sighed as he ignored the man, ordering a cab. (He was NOT in the mood to deal with the weirdos on the bus today) 

Walking into the precinct, all eyes were on him. He rolled his eyes as he stomped towards the break room. 

“Yeah, giant fucking bruise! I get it! Now fuck off!” He yelled with a huff as he grabbed out a mug, pouring steaming coffee into it. He opted for light cream and sugar, needing the boost from the caffeine. 

On his way back to his desk, he turned his head at the feeling of eyes burning into his back. Turning around, he locked eyes with Connor. He quickly turned his eyes away, finishing to journey back to his desk. Booting up his terminal, he pressed his thumb into his wrist, clenching his jaw in a smile as pain flooded up his arm. 

Why was he so messed up? 

Why couldn’t he just be normal?


	3. Baby take me from this place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin finally makes up his mind after a few months of suffering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please know this chapter is centered greatly around the ideas of suicide, self harm, and other various destructive tendencies. 
> 
> Viewer discretion is advised 
> 
> If any of that upsets you, this is not the chapter or story for you, and you shouldn’t continue past this point.

Around two months after the “incident” (yes that was what Gavin was calling it now thank you very much!) Gavin had given up on people and being social in general. He hadn’t slept for more than two hours in two months, barley ate anything during the time. Speaking of witch, he hadn’t eaten in 4 days, and spent as much time as he could either running in the park or at the gym. All in all, he didn’t look too good on the outside. 

His depression, anxiety, and insomnia had gotten worse as well. (So had his thoughts about suicide and self harm, but we don’t talk about that) And it didn’t help that everyone had shunned him at work. Hank, Connor, Chris, Tina, Tina’s fiancé Ashley, and even Fowler! It also didn’t help that Gavin had given up on taking any of his medications. 

So here he was. Back to being #1 Asshole of the DPD! Yay! 

Gavin laid in bed, staring at the ceiling when memories of the past few months flooded his mind. Back to when him and Nines got together, when they had their first kiss. Back to the “incident” and everyone shunning him for what he caused. Back to him not even going to see Nines. Well he tried, several times actually. Connor just never let him. 

He stood up, walking into the bathroom, (the door was still broken. But it wasn’t a big deal, it was just a door) Gavin looked at himself in the mirror. 

He was about 30 pounds lighter, and not in a good way. His rib cage was starting to show along with his collar bone and hips. He had giant dark bags under his eyes and his skin had a sickly hue to it. 

“Damn,” he sighed, running a hand through his long, unkept, greasy hair. 

He looked at the counter, at the full bottle of sleeping pills, antidepressants, and anti-anxiety medicine, his hand itching to grab one of them and down the whole bottle. It’s not like he hadn’t tried it before! 

He clenched his jaw as he stared at himself in the mirror, his mind made up. Everyone hated him now right? They’d probably rejoice at him not being there! Hell, they would probably dance on his grave! 

He turned away from the mirror, starting up the shower. I mean, if the all mighty asshole known as Gavin Reed was going to go out, why not go out with a bang? 

An hour later he walked out to the kitchen, looking better than he had in years. 

He wore a nice white, short sleeved button down shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks and paired with a brown belt and dress shoes. He was showered and well groomed. His hair was styled and he was clean shaven.

He had even decided to put Eli’s last gifts to good use. He was wearing a nice brown leather watch on his left wrist while rings adorned both hands. He even put on some cologne. 

These people better appreciate what he’s doing for them! 

The last thing he did was attach his badge and gun to his belt, and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills. 

He sat in his car outside of the station, anxiety toying with him and he held the now opened bottle of pills, an open bottle of water sitting in the cup holder next to him. Finally, he tossed half of the pills in his hand and downed them with water, the other half following right after it. He fixed his hair in the mirror, and walked into work. 

He felt almost everyone’s eyes on him as he walked in. Whether it was from his put together appearance, or the hundreds of scars on his arms clearly on show was a mystery. (He figured it was a mix of both) 

He b-lined for the break room, wanting his morning coffee. Not that he really wanted it, it was more so to keep up his appearance. 

“Morning Anderson!” He cheerily said as he walked over to the coffee machine, “Connor.” He nodded to the Android. 

Connor grumbled, ignoring the man as he walked out of the break room. Hank scoffed, taking in the man’s appearance and overly cheery attitude. Even Gavin on a good day wasn’t this happy-go-lucky. 

“What’s got you in such a good mood, huh? And what’s with the get up?” He asked bitterly, nursing his cup of coffee. 

Gavin poured himself a cup, a smile on his face as he poured in cream and sugar. “You know, you were the person I looked up to most when I was back at the academy. And when I was an uniformed officer,” he turned around to face the man, “You were like my mentor of sorts back then. I never told you because it hurt to see what you went through after losing Cole. I never hated you Hank. And I still look up to you.” 

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Hank asked, earning a pat on the shoulder and a smile from Gavin as he walked out of the break room. 

On his way back to his desk, Gavin saw Tina and Chris talking. He smiled as he walked over to them. 

“Hey!” He exclaimed with a wave as he approached the two, “sorry for interrupting your conversation, but it just wanted to-“ 

“Holy shit!” Tina gasped slightly at the sight of Gavin, “Chris you’re seeing this to right?” 

Chris just nodded. 

“As I was saying…” Gavin continued, starting to feel a slight lull at the back of his head, “sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to say how good of friends you guys are. I know I’m an ass most of the time -well ALL of the time- but the fact that you guys saw through that and stuck with me means so much.” 

Tina snapped out of her daze, “Gavin Reed, resident asshole of the DPD is apologizing for interrupting a conversation, and is complementing us on how good of friends we are. Chris, are you believing this shit? I don’t know wether to feel honored or terrified!” 

Chris starred at Gavin, “are you wearing cologne, a watch, AND rings?” 

Gavin chuckled as he drank his coffee, “I’ll see you guys around.” He turned to walk away. 

“Gavin wait,” Tina said with a sigh, “Ashley, Chris, and I are all going out for drinks tonight, do you want to join us?” 

Gavin smiled sadly, “I’d love to.” 

“B’s at 8?” 

“I’ll be there!” He smiled, lying through his teeth. He waved to them one last time as he turned to walk back to his desk. 

He buried himself in work for half an hour, all while the pull towards sleep got stronger. 

Gavin got up, carrying his empty mug to the break room, when he had to stop. The world started to spin as he stumbled, leaning on a nearby desk for support. He smiled as black spots started to dance in his vision as he stood up. He went to continue walking when he collapsed. The world turning black. 

“Gavin!” He heard a familiar voice yell out as he lay there in the precinct floor. It was muffled and echoing, but he could recognize it from anywhere. 

“Nines?”


	4. Hold on (I still need you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is a dark themed chapter and is centered around the idea of Suicide. If this triggers you, then you shouldn’t continue on. 
> 
> If you or a loved one is thinking about attempting suicide, please talk to someone. 
> 
> 1-800-273-8355   
> ^ That is a suicide prevention hotline.   
> I love you all, everyone deserves to live a life to the fullest. Please don’t end it early.

<~><~><~><<> Nines POV <<><~><~><~>

Nines walked into the station, prepared to beg Fowler to let him come back to work. He was fully accepting if he had to get down on his knees and beg, but he wouldn’t admit to that out loud. 

He got stopped every few seconds it seemed to get asked if he was ok. After assuring half of the officers that he was, in fact, fine and functioning, he made his way farther into the precinct. 

He paused, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face as he saw Gavin sitting at his desk. He began to walk to the man, overcome with emotion. But he stopped, watching Gavin from afar as the man stood up. 

Gavin stumbled, catching himself on a nearby desk. Worry started to settle in Nines’ chest when he saw Gavin finally stand up straight. (Hehehehehe) 

Nines began to jog over to him when Gavin collapsed. Nines broke out into a sprint, dropping down and sliding next to the man surrounded by broken glass. 

“Gavin!” He called, cradling the man’s head in his lap. 

“Nines?” Gavin muttered before his eyes rolled back in his head, and his whole body went lax. 

“No!” Nines yelled, LED blaring red as Tina ran up to them. She was barking things to him as her phone was pressed to her ear, but Nines couldn’t hear her. The only thing that mattered to the Android, was Gavin 

“Nines, Nines!” Tina yelled, shaking his shoulder, phone to her ear, “what happened?” 

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. So Nines sat there. Gavin’s head cradled in his lap as he could only watch as bile was being forced out of the sleeping man’s stomach. Everything happened around him in slow motion. There was Tina trying to keep it together as she talked to the 911 operator, Fowler, and Hank yelling at everything that moved, Chris, freaking out in the corner, and Connor attempting to keep some order in it all. It seemed like an eternity but was only a few moments before paramedics arrived. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gavin slowly cracked his eyes open, but quickly closed them due to the assault by the overly bright, white lights above him. With his eyes feeling as heavy as lead, he kept them closed, opting to try and move his hand instead. 

His joints were stiff and heavy, his head was pounding, and his throat was dry. He grunted, his memory was foggy, the whole reason why he was in the hospital was forgotten. 

“Gavin?” A male voice asked, familiarity washed over the man, his head slightly turning towards the voice. 

He forced out a strained grunt of sorts at his name being called. Hurried footsteps rushed over to his bedside before he felt a presence beside him. 

“You’re awake! And alive!” The voice called, static interlacing with the words. 

“Nines?” Gavin asked, his voice gruff and strained as he reached a hand towards the Android. His eyebrows knitted together slightly when a sob sounded, a warm hand interlacing with his. 

“Yes, it’s m-me!” Nines croaked out, a giant smile on his face as tears of happiness ran down his face in rivers. 

Gavin finally fluttered open his eyes, the green orbs greedily took in Nines’ figure. Tears started to brim his eyes, a small smile on his face as his memory started to return. 

His hand trailed up to Nines’ cheek, causing the Android to lean into the touch, another sob tearing past his lips.

“It worked, it finally worked, I’m dead. I’m finally… dead,” Gavin smiled as his shoulders relaxed, his eyes closing as tears slipped down his cheeks, “I finally did it.” 

“W-what? Gavin, you’re not dead,” Nines explained, still leaning into the human's touch, “you’re not dead.” 

Gavin looked back over at Nines, puzzled, “Then why are you here?” 

“Because I love you,” the Android answered back, intertwining their hands, “and you’re too much of a reckless dumbass to leave alone. I’m right about that part you know.” Nines whispered the last bit as someone started yelling out in the hall. 

The door to the room slammed open and a very pissed off Elijah Kamski entered, Chloe following quietly behind him. 

“Eli?” Gavin asked, taking his hand away from Nines’ tear stained face, “Chloe? What are you guys doing here?” 

Elijah laughed sarcastically, “oh, why are we here Chloe? It can’t be because my little brother is a idiotic fool! No! That’s not it! We are here for the fantastic cafeteria food!” Elijah was pissed, sarcasm heavy in his words.

Chloe smiled as she stepped out from behind the man, “translation: we are here because we care deeply about you and your mental health and well-being. Elijah actually broke several traffic laws on the way over here because he was so worried.” 

Elijah rolled his eyes at Chloe’s words, turning his head away from Gavin’s view. 

“RK, why don’t we go down to the cafeteria? I can grab something for Elijah, and you Gavin.” Chloe said, looking between the brothers. 

Nines nodded, standing up, “sounds good, and please just call me Nines.” 

The two walked out the door, leaving the pair of brothers in a tense silence. 

“Eli… I….” Gavin started, sighing as he looked over at Elijah, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you’re mad, I’m sorry you came all the way out here-why are you here? It’s not like I haven’t been in the hospital before! You haven’t shown up when I’ve gotten shot or stabbed!” 

“Don’t give me that shit!” Elijah hissed, shaking his head and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“What shit Eli? This isn’t even the first time I’ve tried to kill myself!” Gavin yelled, his eyes starting to burn with tears, “where were you then? Huh? Out at some fucking collage that’s where! Not giving a damn about anything else except for your plastic toys! Not caring about me!” 

“Bullshit!” Elijah shot back, “I was there! I was there when you tried to slit your wrists for the first time! I was there when you took dad’s pills, you downed them with a bottle and a half of vodka! Yeah I was there! I stayed with you for three days while you slept everything off! 

“And don’t give me that shit about why I’m here! You’re my little brother! I love you and there’s nothing you can do to change that! And-“ he hiccuped, tears openly running down his face, “and you’re supposed to let me be the one to protect you, not the other way around.” 

“Eli…” Gavin said quietly. He moved to sit up, but ended up getting dizzy and falling back onto the bed. 

“See? You’re supposed to be stronger than me! You’ve always been! Stronger, faster, meaner, more witty! I was always the small nerd who was too afraid to stand up for himself!” Elijah explained, moving to sit by Gavin’s bed side. 

Gavin shot up, almost tackling Elijah in a hug, “I’m sorry.” 

Elijah shook his head, returning Gavin’s hug, “Don’t be, you’re my little brother, I’m always here for you.” 

“Eli…” Gavin sighed, still in the embrace, “stop calling me your little brother, I’m ten seconds younger than you.” 

Elijah laughed, letting go of Gavin and wiping at his tear stained face, “which makes me ten seconds older. You asshole.” 

Gavin laughed, laying back down. Nines and Chloe walked in a few minutes later, smiling and talking cheerily. Gavin searched Nines for any sort of food, but his face fell when nothing was being carried in. 

“Where’s the food?” Both Gavin and Elijah asked simultaneously. 

“Chloe we didn’t get food,” Nines said, messaging Chloe, “What are the chances they ignore us for the rest of the day?”

Chloe smiled slightly, “very high. It seems as though Elijah can eat almost anything at anytime, I assume it’s the same with Gavin?”

Nines rolled his eyes, “in deed.” 

“What the fuck are you two talking about?” Gavin asked, side eyeing the pair standing by the door. 

Nines smiled as he walked back over to Gavin’s side, “how annoying you get when it comes to food.” 

Gavin rolled his eyes but reached for Nines’s hand nonetheless. 

Elijah sighed, looking over at Chloe, “I’m still hungry…” 

Chloe smiled sweetly at Gavin and Nines, “That’s our que to leave, we hope to see you both again sometime soon.”

Elijah stood up, ruffling Gavin’s already untamed hair, “see ya little brother.” 

“20 seconds Eli! 20 seconds!” He growled, slapping Elijah’s hand away and flipping him off as him and Chloe exited the room. 

Nine and Gavin sat in silence for a while. Nines rubbing soothing circles on the back of Gavin’s hand while the other stared up at the ceiling. 

“Gavin-“ Nines started, turning to face him more in the very uncomfortable hospital chair. 

“Nines don’t. I’m sorry this happened, can we just leave it at that?” Gavin asked, looking over at Nines with a pleading look. 

Nines was about to nod, when the memory of him rushing over to Gavin lying lifeless on the precinct floor came back to him, “no. We cannot leave it at a simple ‘I’m sorry’.” 

Gavin took his hand away from Nines’s, rubbing his face, “this some kind of interrogation about why I tried to kill myself?” 

“No, it’s me being a concerned lover. It’s me wondering why you stopped taking your medicines, why you dropped 60 pounds, and why you didn’t talk to anyone. Why you didn’t talk to me,” Nines muttered the last part softly, making Gavin’s heart shatter in the process. 

“Because...“ he had an answer, but he also had a half-assed excuse, “because I wanted to die. I have for a while now.” 

“Don’t lie to me Gavin,” well there goes that plan. 

Gavin sighed, taking a shaky breath, “because you weren’t there. You weren’t there to lecture me  
on taking my medicine. You weren’t there to tell me that everything was going to be fine, to tell me that you were going to be fine. Be-“ his voice became uneven as tears ran down his face, “because I had hurt you and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not coming to try and visit you, not trying to talk to you.” 

Nines sat in silence next to Gavin, just listening to the broken man. 

“I’m sorry Nines. I’m so, so sorry. I just didn't want to live without you, ” Gavin muttered, resting his head in his hands. 

Nines lowered Gavin’s hands and turned the man’s head to look at him, “I love you. Nothing will change that. And I will love you, Gavin Reed, for all my life, and no one can stop that.” 

Gavin let out a sob. He leaned over to press a kiss to Nines’s lips. 

The Android wrapped his arms around Gavin’s waist, pulling away from the kiss to rest his chin on Gavin’s head, “you do realize how important it is to take your medicine, correct?” He said with a slight smirk. 

Gavin melted into the contact, letting out another sob at how good it felt to be touched after so long, “I fucking love you, so goddamn much, tincan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sooo sorry this took so long! I hoped you enjoyed! 
> 
> Once again, don’t end your life early. It’s can always get better. I love you all. 
> 
> CyberWolf Out


End file.
